Lisbeth's Lament
by lupinslament
Summary: Takes place between 'TGWTDT' and 'TGWPWF', and a series of four focusing on Lisbeth's emotions and her responses. It's a college project and neeeeed reviews, even if it's just one word or an anonymous message, please help a girl out!
1. Chapter 1

**Monologue of Lisbeth Salander.**

**Scene 1**.

(Disclaimer: I don't own the Millennium Trilogy, or the beauts who run around within them. I do however own the books which are a bit battered at the moment.)

(Lisbeth is sat on her couch, cigarette in hand and a table is smashed in front of her. One hand is supporting her elbow and is shaking slightly . Her make up has run and leaves black streaks down her face.)

I... I know I should have expected it. Especially with my _train_ wreck of past relationship disasters...But that doesn't mean it hurts less or at all. It just means that it hurts _**more.**_

(Sighs and stands, hands clenching hair and looking down)

I'm stupid. I'm _so_ stupid and I can't- _believe_ I fell for it. I can't believe I fell for **him. **I knew what he was like **before**! I wrote a fucking profile on him- _for fuck sake. _But I did it anyway. And I chased and I chased and I got him; so this is my reward for being selfish.

Stupid, _stupid_, _**stupid**_ Lisbeth!

I deserved this. The nut house shouldn't have let me out. They should have left me _locked _me in my room and _thrown_ away the bastard key.

At least Kalle bastard Blomkvist could have kept screwing his _**whore Erika**_ in peace anyway.

(Lisbeth suddenly looks up to the audience, looking incredulous and shocked.)

Oh _my fucking_ Christ. I- I'm blaming myself for him cheating on me. I'm fucking _**blaming **_myself for him fucking around! What the actual fuck?!

Salander, you've officially gone mental. Get the fuck out of your head and get a clue!

(Lisbeth begins to laugh cynically and gesticulates wildly)

How fucking dare he! He knows the shit I've been through! He knows! Yet he'll carry on with his _**mistress**_ like a fucking hobby! _Jesus_. It's not my fault. He knew what I was like too; a **sociopathic **_**freak**_**.** He could have said no when I pulled off my dress... He could have carried on with that Vanger woman too and let me get on with my life as well.

I'm not conventional but who the fuck is he to decide what's right and wrong? Of course keeping a _mistress_ when you're both married to different people is _normal.__**Fuck**_ you Blomkvist. **Fuck **_you._

I need to get out of here.

I need to get out of here now.

(Lisbeth starts to pack her belongings into a bag, rummaging through drawers and dumping their contents into the bag)

Let's see how he deals without his hacker now. I'm a fucking billionaire.

Who needs a pathetic _fake _detective anyway.

Who needs a man?

I need an island.

**AN. Please please read and review, It's all needed for a college project and your reviews would be so so helpful!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Scene 2.**

**(Disclaimer nope still not in ownership, at least I don't think so and neither does my bank balance)**

(Lisbeth is sat in a departure lounge, knees curled up to her chest and chin resting on top. It's dark outside, early boxing day morning. And her plane is delayed by several hours)

I just want to get away now. I'm here and everything's done. Tickets are bought and bags are packed. I just want to get away.

(Lisbeth sighs, nestling her chin deeper into her knees, looking in deep thought)

I don't think I'm ever getting out of this fucking place. "Delayed by several hours due to faults". If that's not a sign that I shouldn't be doing this, then I don't know what fucking is.

(Lisbeth's head drops back, speaking to the ceiling)

There should be a woman in the corner with a microphone saying "You're pathetic, running away won't help". And then an even happier woman cutting across " But if you have the money then do what the fuck you want. Who really gives a shit now move along."

I'd appreciate a bit of honesty anyway.

I mean, if you don't want to be with someone tell them. Don't fucking lie to them.

The worst thing though, the thing I can't get my head around, is when people lie. I can't stand liars. Do they think they can get away with it? Really? Are they that naïve? It's _fucking __**patheti**__c_. Get it over and done with.

Don't use your children as an excuse either.

That's fucking low.

(Lisbeth shakes her head, displaying disgust. Then as she sighs a voice sounds over the room saying that her flight is now boarding. She looks up and stares at the tannoy and begins to stretch catlike and stand.)

Well. That's enough moping anyway. Let's get on with it, just get away from everything here. I think I need a break. And an island breeze

(As Lisbeth says the last line, her head falls back and she rolls her shoulders, moving towards the door towards the plane)

AN: Please please please review! It's all for a college project that relies on your wondrous reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

**Scene 3.**

**(Disclaimer; hey guess what, I do actually own these books and my name is Stieg Larsson. Lol no i'm not, I'm not nearly as beautiful as this guy. **

(Lisbeth is lying on a bed in her hotel room on the island, there is a night-stand where a bottle of nearly full painkillers is open and a long mirror on the wall. She has a hospital strap around her wrist and is wearing a loose shirt. There is a large white cotton pad taped onto her neck)

I can't believe I did it. It's there and I _know _I did it, but I can't _**feel **_it yet. I can't see it yet.

Wasp was a major part of my life...And she still will be... But no-one else needs to know now.

I had this..._**that**_- tattoo when I was younger, when I _needed_ to have itdone and express myself. To _**remember.**_

I won't _**ever **_forget her. I will _**never**_ forget her. Even without seeing the image every day, I won't ever forget her.

I'm _**still**__ Wasp_. I didn't technically _need_ a tattoo to know who I was. I _needed_ it to show everyone else.

(Lisbeth sighs and looks down at her feet)

And that's the truth isn't it. It's who I_** was**_...

But... now... I just to be the same as everyone else. I just need to be normal.

(Lisbeth looks up with a grim determination)

I want to become invisible in a room of beautiful people and not have others staring.

I was _**sick **_of being treated as _weird_ and _odd_ and _strange. _A _**freak. **_I was_**tired **_of people looking at me and _crossing the street to avoid me_.

I just _**WANTED**_ to _normal_. Is that so **difficult**?

(Lisbeth stops, pinches her lip slowly and wraps one arm around herself.)

Maybe if I had been normal in the first place then...

(Lisbeth throws her arms out to the side, to shake off previous thought)

No. _**No.**_

That wasn't my fault. That was _**his.**_ And I'm over it now anyway..

_**I needed to move on.**_

(Lisbeth looks into the mirror and touches her neck lightly)

And now I think I can...

Except now I want to go further.

I want to walk down the street and not questioned if I'm a _boy_ anymore. I don't want to be asked for proof of age anymore. And I don't want to be stared at with intrigue anymore. I want to be looked at with _interest_ and an _ill disguised__** lust.**_

...And I'll be in control

I got rid of one_ masculine_ stereotype..And I know how to get rid of another one_._

_(Lisbeth stops for a second and bursts out laughing)_

Who would have thought? Lisbeth Salander caring about her image? Shock horror bastards. Lisbeth will have breasts and she_ still_ won't look at you twice.

God. Breast implants. _Boob job. __**What am**_I doing...

I will do it though.

_(Lisbeth looks down and smiles)_

Lisbeth with boobs. Lisbeth who's not androgynous. Palgrem will have a-

_(Lisbeth breathes in sharply, shakes her head, breathes out slowly and runs her hands through her hair)_

I can't wait to see those American tourists again. Especially that man. That prostitute on his arm was just doing a job, so I can empathise. But that **man. **That fat, vain, pathetic, sexist pig who looked at me and fucking laughed won't have the chance to anymore. He won't stare at me and ask his paid girlfriend if I was a teenage boy or an ill formed girl.

So thanks Wennerström. Who would have thought you would end up buying me some breasts?

If that bastard _Kalle _could see me in 2 weeks... He'd be pig sick... It's his own fault... He could have had me.

...In fact he did have me. But he chose "_a real woman instead."_

Who needs you Kalle?

I can survive on my own, so let's see how you do by _yourself._

I've evolved and become stronger and _**drenched**_** in control.**

If you could see me in two weeks...

(Lisbeth sighs and turns her back on the audience, staring at herself in the mirror and then walking out of the door)

**AN. Please review dears, It's all for a college project and your help would be wonderful!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Scene 4**

**(Disclaimer; don't own, don't think I ever will, though if this position changes I'll let you know asap because I know you would want to)**

(Lisbeth is seated at a bar, wearing a low cut dress showing off her new figure. Her neck is still slightly red and an outline of a wasp can scarcely be seen. She has a glass of red wine in front of her.)

That boy keeps looking at me. And it's not even with disgust. When they took the bandages off I couldn't believe it myself. But now...It's like I'm a whole other person.

And I like it.

(Lisbeth drinks from her glass and rubs the lipstick off the rim slowly)

In the past six months I've thought about things. I've thought about what to do next and where to go. And I've organised my life. But right now, who **really** cares?

I'm a new _**woman. **_My tattoos are _**sexy **_and not obvious. I'm _**feminine. **_And I no longer look like a teenage boy

But it's not changed anything really. When I get back to Sweden and back home, I'll still have to look around and see everything touched by _him _and remember.

My situation remains the same. I was fucked over by someone who I thought _actually_ loved me. But I'm stronger now. I can cope now. I can go back and deal with it, I can see him and carry on with my life despite seeing his face plastered over the media for whoever he _**pisses**_ off next.

I don't have to be a victim any more, especially not to myself. I'm not weighed down with _dirty looks_ and ignorance from people in the world. I have the opportunity for invisibility, to blend with the beautiful, and it's an overlooked skill.

(Lisbeth looks to have made up her mind, lips set and drinks down the rest of her wine, moving over to the young man who has been looking at her for the best part of half an hour)

I'm over you Blomkvist, and I'm over my train wreck. I'm a new _woman _and can take care of myself.

I just needed a kick. And I sure as hell got one.

(Lisbeth walks up squarely to the man and smiles brightly)

**AN: Well, that's it! Thank you for reading and please review! Even if it's just a word! It would be so fantastic **


End file.
